Ladies of New York

Dear Ladies of New York,

Hi! My name is Matt. My wife’s name is Dani. We have two sweet boys and live in a cozy 4 bedroom apartment. We shop at Wal-Mart online because they upgrade our strawberry cartons to Family Size if they run out of the smaller ones. We’re that kind of wealthy. Plus, we have 2 empty rooms that could be bedrooms. We were wondering about having another baby or two but if you’re in the third trimester of a healthy pregnancy and you can’t see a path forward, would you consider giving your baby to us instead of having an abortion?

You don’t have to explain your reasons. I’m not judging you and I won’t pretend to understand the complexities of your situation. If giving birth jeopardizes your emotional, mental, or socioeconomic health you have to look for a solution that works. Good for you for doing that!

And this option is a total win-win, right? You can have a future and so can your little one. And you’ve already made it this far – which is amazing, btw! If you could just hang tough for a few more weeks until delivery, it can all be over, but in a way that empowers both you and your child.

Here’s where I’m coming from: I totally understand why abortion might seem necessary during the first or second trimester; even during the third trimester if your life is at risk. I just want to avoid abortions to healthy fetuses if they’re developed enough to feel physical, mental, or emotional pain (which I understand to be sometime before 20 weeks).

So here’s my pitch: would you let me adopt your baby, and every healthy third trimester fetus in New York who’s on the cusp of being aborted? (It’s way fewer than you might think!) Did you know that (according to the CDC) there were roughly 650k abortions in 2014 and only 1.3% happened during the third trimester? That’s like 8,500 in the whole nation, and a lot of those were to save the mom’s life, so there has to be less than 1,000 healthy pregnancies terminated in New York, right?

If I had a bigger apartment I would happily adopt 1,000 babies a year. I can at least take 2, your sweet baby and one more, and I bet I can find 499 friends who would do the same! Let’s do this together! Me and my friends can cover 2019 and maybe in a few years when you’re ready you and your friends can cover 2025? If not, no sweat. One way or another we can figure this out.

I’m so proud of how far you’ve carried your child. Just a few weeks more. You can do this! My family would be honored to help.


The Drakes

PS – JD (my 3-yr-old) wants a boy and Toby (my 2-year-old) wants a girl so either way, we’re in! ;)

#illtake2whataboutyou #thirdtrimesterabortion #thirdtrimesteradoption #letsdothis #ladiesofnewyork #familiesofnewyork


  1. Susan Roy

    I’m totally in with you. I’m older than you would expect, but in love with children and can offer a loving, secure and stable home to 2 children. You hang in there and do your best and then the rest is up to us. Any sec, nationality, and especially if the baby has special needs. If you choose you can even still have a place in the baby’s life. Give it serious thought. There are a lot of us here to help!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gina

    This is a sweet and commendable response to an evil new law. It reminds me of Mother Teresa who said, “If you don’t want your baby, give him to me.”

    However, as a Christian and an adoptive mom of a baby who had disabilities, I really struggle with your statement: “…I totally get abortion and all the reasons why it might be necessary during the first and second trimester; even during the third trimester if your life is at risk. I just want to avoid abortions to healthy fetuses if they’re developed enough to feel physical, mental, or emotional pain (which I understand to be somewhere around 20 weeks).”

    Huh?! Maybe I misread your intent, and for that I apologize. Abortion may be okay in the first or second trimester, or if the baby can’t feel pain? (a baby can feel pain and distress earlier than 20 weeks btw). Will you and your wife only take healthy babies, but the disabled ones are left to the abortionist’s scalpel?

    ALL life is precious and only God determines its value and when it should begin and end. Abortion at every stage is evil–first, second, AND third trimester– even if the mom’s “circumstances” are difficult.

    In her statement, Mother Teresa was talking about ALL babies, not just who we deem are healthy or whole.
    God bless you. I hope some pregnant girl in distress takes you up on your offer!


    1. Matt

      Great question!

      The quick answer is “no,” I’m not OK with abortion at all. That’s my personal conviction. But it’s not a conviction that everyone shares and I did not write this letter to convince anyone that abortion is wrong.

      This was my pragmatic approach to reduce abortions. I wrote it to women who might be considering an abortion and I did not want them to have the sense that I am condemning them for considering abortion.

      I’m convinced that if believers want to make headway on this issue they can’t come to the table with a tacit message that those on the other side of the table are murderers.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s